Gay was born on 27th September 1934, to Eunice Nora and George Westhead Parkinson, younger sister to Elizabeth Anne. The family lived in Grimsby, where Gay's father's family building company, Sir Lindsay Parkinson Ltd, were building the docks. Gay was a lively, bright and happy child and loved animals from an early age. The family had dogs, spaniels, first Terry and then Buffer. When Gay was a young child, the family moved to Cheshire, where they lived in Mere, close to the Golf Club and their cousins. Here Gay and Anne went to Yorston Lodge School in Knutsford.
Gay and Anne loved riding at at the local stables, Straitons, where Anne kept her pony Tip Top and Gay rode Silver, a lovely little grey. Aged nine, Gay went on her first hunt with the North Cheshire Hunt. Later Gay inherited Tip Top and Anne got a bigger horse called Vicky, but the sisters both continued their love of all things horses and riding. A favourite pastime was 'the hobs' - hobby horses they made out of old socks which were filled and decorated with horses' ears and faces. Gay and Anne were taken to Pantomimes like Jack and the Beanstalk and Cinderella in Manchester, which fuelled Gay's love of theatre. Later Gay's family moved to Surrey, and lived in a rambling bungalow called 'Anngay' in Virginia Water. Gay went to The Italia Conti School in London where as well as regular education, she was trained in Drama and on she performed in her first Pantomime, Babes in the Wood, aged fifteen. At this school Gay met her lifelong friend Anne Hart, who was later to become Mrs Ronnie Corbett.
On leaving school, Gay spent three years acting in weekly Repertory, at Penzance Theatre, where as she modestly put it, she 'played a lot of maids' but also major parts in plays by such playwrights as Somerset Maugham and Ivor Novello. This work was very poorly paid and once when her sister, Anne, visited she found Gay's poor hands very chapped but Gay couldn't afford hand cream. Perhaps it was things like this that brought about the end of Gay's acting career. She went back to Anngay, and worked in the high end London fashion store, Fenwicks, following in her sister's footsteps. Gay was promoted and became an underbuyer. She met the dashing Ken Buckingham, a Representative and the two became engaged to be married. Their wedding took place at Christchurch, Virginia Water on 30th July 1960 and the couple moved into a luxury flat in Dulwich where they lived until the sudden death of Gay's father in 1962.
Gay's mother, Eunice Nora, said she couldn't live on her own so Gay and Ken generously gave up their Dulwich maisonette and moved to Virginia Water to be with Nora. They pulled down the rambling bungalow and built a beautiful new house, Wychen Wood which was home to the three of them for the next thirteen years, until Nora's sad death at the age of 68 from cancer. Gay got the train to London for her part-time job at a modelling agency where they found people with beautiful hands for advertisements for products such as Fairy Liquid and hand creams. Gay had kindly bought a beagle puppy, Oscar, to be company for Nora during the day, and on her return from the Big Smoke each afternoon, she would drive to Windsor Great Park for a long walk with Oscar. Always an early riser, until her heart attack in her late 70s, Gay would have been up at 5.15 to do the chores before work. She was a great cook and loved trying new recipes, and she and Ken loved to entertain in their beautiful home. Holding and going to Bridge Eights were a lifelong pleasure and they formed lasting friendships with many through this popular hobby. They also held dinner parties. Gay's love of horses endured and she rode when she could, sometimes taking Oscar along with her. On more than one occasion some wag called out, "Have you lost the rest of the hunt?"
It was during these years that my mother, Gay's sister Anne, brother Iain and I used to spend a few days at Wychen Wood each year between Christmas and New Year with Grandma, Auntie Gay and Uncle Ken. For me, it was the highlight of my year and I just loved being with them. Grandma treated us to three shows each visit, but it was Gay who queued for hours outside London Theatres to get us the tickets, and drove us everywhere, as well as cooking delicious meals for us. In the evenings if we weren't out we'd play Pontoon after dinner, and go for walks during the day, or to places like Windsor Castle, or with Ken into London where we visited the Science Museum.
Later, after the sad death of Nora, Ken's work meant the couple moved to Berkhamsted within reach of the new Hadida factory at Milton Keynes. They lived in Shootersway Park. By this time Gay was working full time in the finance department of Heathrow Airport. She eventually changed jobs and worked for the Wellcome Foundation in Berkhamsted which meant she could come home at lunchtime and see the cat, Whisk, whom Gay and Ken had inherited when Virginia Water neighbours moved abroad. I was teaching at the Catholic High School in High Wycombe at the time, not too far away, and I used to visit Ken and Gay for an evening meal every few weeks which was a very welcome respite from the world of school! Gay loved her beautiful garden, which always looked full of colour. The couple went on various holidays, at home and abroad, including to Orlando USA, Spain and Vienna, where Gay loved seeing the Spanish Riding School horses. Holidays were often with friends, and golf was part of it many times. Gay enjoyed walking round the course although she didn't play golf herself. For many years Gay and Ken had an annual trip to Stratford Upon Avon to see a Shakespeare play and stay overnight at the Swan Inn.
Ken's heart attack brought him early retirement and when Gay retired a few years later, the couple moved down the hill to their lovely flat in Campions Court. They loved the fact that they could walk into town from the flat and coffee at Costa with a little shopping at Waitrose and possibly a bookshop became a regular routine. Retirement meant that Gay had more time for horses and she rode at least a couple of times a week and volunteered with Riding for the Disabled. She was a regular at the riding sessions but also went along in between times to help look after the horses and ponies. When Gay finally retired from RDA, so did a little pony called Bella, who went to live with another RDA volunteer, and Gay continued riding Bella for many more years.
Gay was a tremendous knitter. My childhood memories include being given a baby doll by my Grandma, after which for every birthday and Christmas for several years, Gay and Nora each knitted a new outfit for the doll, who ended up with a suitcase full of clothes! Gay knitted Iain and I hats, scarves and gloves, which I remember wearing the first time we were allowed to attend Christmas Midnight Mass. Later, Gay made a multitude of knitted toys which she gave to friends or to the Hospice, which she supported for many years. Gay also read a lot and she and Ken were active members of ADFAS (the Arts Society) at Potten End, going to monthly talks and on outings to London Theatres and places of interest. Gay and Ken were both very good company and I always looked forward to spending time with them. They were great conversationalists, taking an interest in everything and very kindly. In retirement Gay and Ken's routine included a Tuesday outing together to somewhere with shops: Brent Cross Shopping Centre, Gerrards Cross, Aylesbury, St Alban's and occasionally further afield to Cambridge or Oxford, but usually more locally. They would arrive early, have a coffee and then a look round the shops, possibly coming back with a purchase.
Covid put a stop to many of their activities and health problems were creeping in for both of them, but they were always cheerful and uncomplaining, carrying on in spite of difficulties.
Gay was a wonderful aunt and friend, and her lovely smile, humour, wise words and kind nature will be very much missed.
